razlan or rozi??due2 pon punahhh

huargh..haru2...razlan got merce..tp nk get married nxt year...rozi plak lg haru...dok citer pasai keje manjang...dah tu..lagu mana????

malash lagiks???? (parah nih!!)

aduss...still not startin my revisions ar....arghhhhh aduiii cmner nihs????ok2...lpas nih ek??ek?? =D

malashnyer!!

hurm...lame kan x update??didnt haf d time 2...well..erm....kat lab library nihs..had 2 cum here 2 study..cant stand my mom's nagging at home...i'm d one who's havin d finals..but she's d one panickin...so i decided to make her less worried by cummin here instead..at least in her mind i'm studyin...(padehal sebok membloging!!ya allah..teruknye anak!!!)

hurm....last monday menjadi saksi to d END of d classes n presentations n assgmts in my CAMPUS LIFE...yup..ended wif an all-red theme for my group's Risk Mgmt presentation...t'wuz good...but cud've been better...hell lantaklaa..dh lepas dh pun..experienced quite a shock on d prstn day..got 1 grup where all of d female members wore pant suits..n they looked gorgeous!! well..wif me n my practical kat gomen..mmgla x nah tgk girls that actually wore those kindof attires..n actually lookin DAMN good in em!!hurm...ade hati nk wat pant suit ar lpas nih..hehehe....

n after d presentation on monday..i practically bermastautin-ed at cidah's room until yesterday...ntah knape i really felt sad..n i mean REALLY2 SAD mase nk go back...i've nvr felt this kindof feelin when i'm bout 2 leave my seri puteri skool...xde feelin pon kot mase tuh..tp mlm td sgt sedih n sampai mengalir air mate!!!!...n cidah cam pelik biler aku nangis gile2...i guess it is true when ppl say "STUDENT'S LIFE IS D BEST LIFE EVER!!"...n i'm gonna miss it coz t'wuz d bestest part of my life...learnt n experienced so much things...n also understood A WHOLE LOT more of ppl's fiils on LIFE...all dat had changed n made me a better person...

so after this...kena btul2 focus on my studies la nmpknye...at least kena btul2 puaskan hati sdiri of my own effort...no matter wut d outcome's gonna b..hopefully good lah...(despite d fact dat i'll still haf 2 work in d gomen after this--special permintaan from my PARENTS...hate 2 dissapoint em..so haf 2 agree lor..plus..got sum encouragement frm mr.adrian; sofia's future boss..giler untung dat gurl..got d opportunity 2 work in an international environment...will b exposed 2 so many things..hm...rezeki ko,dear...i wanted dat job badly..tp tu la..dont haf as much as quality as she does when it comes to general knowledge n PR...all d best 2 u,cay??)

got few 'lessons learnt' during my night out wif sofia n adrian...lessons which r only applicable 2 me kot...haha...sgt klaka...1stly..pegang ur hangbag tightly or at least neatly on ur lap..n never let it jatuh ke bawah meja(argh..apekah??cmner leh tjatuh kat bwh meja n org lain yg lalu lalang yg notice, instead of me..huargh..malu gile!!)..second-biler nk mintak contact number pade org yg DAH KEJE...mintak his bsns CARD...not directly his number!!!!!!(adus...malu gileeee mcm aku nih nak flirt ngn dia je coz mintak his direct number..argh....my mistake!!!!) n lastly-biler masuk kreta org lain yg sgt besa n sgt lavish (n i tell u..gile besa --> nissan murano!! n my mouth wuz actually terlopong once we got in d car!!!)--owh, back 2 d point..hihi make sure he's not on d fon when ur greetin him wif a 'hi' or 'how r u' (argh..sgt malu gak.beriye2 ckp "hi"..pastu cam pelik biler dier x 'hi' balik--rupe2ye he's on d fon...argh!!!b more alert in future...cat,puhleeezzzz!!)

hmm..xpela...there's alwiz a 1st time 4 everytg,kan??so i had 2 learn it d hard way...so wut??at least i know now..dpd x tau lgsg,rite??dat wuz my 1st time kluar ngn a very,very much older guy..but luckily he wuz v young at heart..so mcm xde la susa sgt nk klik ngn dia..plus he also dh keje ngn lots of malays...so he understands a lot of malay words...which makes it easier 2 say sumthing when u donno d english words or phrases for it..huhuhhh!!

well...despite his over-friendliness mase he wanted 2 call me pussy instead of kathy..(haha..apekah??pussy laa??sgt2 x sesuai!!) tp seb baik dia cpat2 realize yg i wuz not dat comfy wif dat name...so instead sofia recommended him just callin me "cat"--heloo...only my bestfriends call me that!!!--urgh...wut d hell...bia la...lantak..though t'wuz kindof akward hearing a stranger callin me over n over again by d name "cat"..haha..

so...kena stop blogging dh la kot...haf 2 start my pejuangan wif my far subject...2 all my itm fwens..gud luck yahh..all d best...n 2 shera yg juz tinggal 1 mo ppr...lucky u...pray 4 me,huh???

self realization...

Today I had my Big Bang…wut izit??here’s my side of story…

Lately I’ve been d one who volunteers to do d final edit when it comes to doin group asgmts …all coz I had a ltop..well,not mine..my dad’s actually…tp tah nape this sem mcm I like baru cam brani nk tanye mama or abg- “bz ak today?got prestn bel air or not?can I borro d ltop??nk wat asgmt ar…leh ak??” ß n apparently d answer is yes , bole pinjam n like mcm abg can even send it to my hostel….n barula cam tsedar…y didn’t I do like this during my previous sems??well..come 2 think of it..dlu kat seroja…n like mcm 8 org in a room..not really a room aite?more of a dorm..wif d world wars n all..mmg x tpiker la kot nk use ltops….n plus there wuz d seroja cc kan…

Apart from dat..baru aku rs I really2 involve in d production of d project…esp odit ar…coz I tried like finding d articles sgt2 lame kat library…n printing..n editing n all…mmg sgt byk kos involved..tp cam puas ati..tah nape…n come 2 think y did I even wanted 2 volunteer 2 do d final odit ek?coz of attention??cud b…tp end up not me pun yg finishkan grup asgmt far ek…kunon nk abiskan…hahaha…pdn muke..seb baikla ade last minute heroes ek..seriously bershining2 armour diorg ah..ekeke…

Or izit coz I don’t wanna b d 1 2 b blamed of not doin/contributin anytin 2 d project??sop pon ader je ltop kan…so y me???y u cat???ntahla..myb its d sense of obligation n responsblty kots..eheks…puji diri sdiri laks….

Seb baikla prstn td dikira orait..n yg plg x thn when she said those MAGICAL WORDS…”good presentation of corporate governance…very detailed…so u can present in d next class for this topic…good..good!" huargh..if only u cud c d relieve ness n unbelievable-ness on my face time tuh..tho d article pun cidah cyg yg carik kan….tp kan…td la d only time yg I really2 presented WELL…(to my own standard la kan…bukan nk bangge diri…tp salunye I will like stumble n mumble n gagap2 when it comes to presentationàesp prstn MAF ye…ntah nape…tp tadi…dgn my tumdrive xleh nk open kat ltop puan..so ended we presented gak wif cidah’s version of last saved prstn (yg sgt byk xde bnde2 baru like I had in my tumdrive..huargh!!!) n come 2 think bout it..aku actuallynye sgt blur td…after I had known dat my indiv far asgmt wuz out of topic..n dat d lecturer didn’t give me any marks (meaning zero la kan??)…lg la wat aku blur…n d blurrness kindof showed itself bile aku berangan2 time bebdak lain dlm grup aku tgh present..diorg byk kali kne cuit aku suoh tuka next slide…seb baik d whole class mcm phm2 sdiri keblurrness aku is coz I cant open my tumbdrive…hmm if only they know d real cause kan….n when it comes 2 my turn 2 present….aku x prepare sgt pon speech sbenanye…tp main taram je….(I guess mase tuh aku da cam mls nk lyn…dgn my mind still on d out-of-topic asgmt…n d thot of kne REDO it…n at d same time piker nk present lg…so juz cam blasah jela present!!!)..luckily enuff d lecturer gave our grup her teaching aid-tool…kindof laser beam yg she alwiz use 2 tunjuk points at d projector screen..hahaha…turns out I’m d only 1 who used it 4 presenting my part of corp gov..ekeke…mmg tgn aku gigil gile ms mule2 tunjuk dat laser-like tool kat screen…but then tibe2 puan got a fon call….n ms tuh aku xtau cmne nk explen..tp tibe2 sume gigil2 tuh ilang…n I continued my presentation like I had prepared it for ages before..(padehal I also dunno where those words dat came out frm my mouth came from..eheks…) of cos, mmg STILL ade moments where I mcm ilang wordingz a.k.a ter’lost’ jap…tp tah cmaner leh tercover…n 1 really2 weird thing is dat I practically cud hear MYSELF talking….d way my slang-ness..d sound of my voice when pronouncing certain words..(nih sume puan MAF la nyer psl..she wuz d 1 who highlighted on d ‘slang-ness’ dat I had while presentg on a maf topic dluh2…she said dat “I can c dat u hav a slang when presenting..n dats good…except dat ur point isn’t really….”hehehe xmo smbung ayat dier psl dier komen on my points..sgt x memotivasikan….i juz wanted 2 highlight on d compliment she said,rite?? Eheks!! actually nye aku mmg x nah prsn I got dat ability….n even more terkedu bile qmal (1 of d best students of my fac) asked me how izit dat I can present so well in front??? ahaks mcm nk tgelak pon ader..adeke patut besh student tanye student yg sgt x baguih nih haa??

hihi…neways…so bile qmal tanye soklan nih aku cam terkonfem ar ngn my ability satu nih…tp klu korg sume nk tau la kan…I didn’t really became this GOOD (according 2 those who admitted la kan…) in one nite…I wuz actually a VERY,VERY QUIET person b4 this..esp kat high skool dluh…believe it or not..I wuz actually considered as d ‘budak surau’ time tuh…siap kne suoh jdik prefect biro agame lgik..n at dat time..i didn’t have any confidence in myself AT ALL….i gained d ability 2 speak in itm la…psl sgt byk prestn knew at kat dpn klas..n dpn everybody in d class kan…n erm I think it kinda pays also 2 b good buddies like sofia..some1 u can argue n talk in English n also 2 know few new words or expressions…n maybe my INTEREST in d English language itself made it possible…I’ve alwiz had an obsession on d language..sgt suke bace english wordings on birthday cards or postcards..i dunno y..but I find d English language sumhow expresses emotions n feelings much better in words as compared to malay language…eyy aku x merendahkan bahasa ibundaku…bahasa melayu also has its own special ways of expressing emotions n feelings…juz dat I prefer English more…its not overly-expressed n d words come out juz nice….hurm…try comparing “really am pissed off laa wif dat guyyy!!!” wif “eiii bengangnye aku ngn mamat tuh!!!!” à to me, I prefer English..coz it states out emotion of very angry at dat point of time..tp x melarat angrynye tuh…as compared to b.mlayu…even d word bengang dh mcm kasar…so a small thing or misunderstg could become a big thing juz coz of wrong usage of words…n this has happened tau…to me…hehehe…but nevertheless d malay language pun ade part2 of it yg sgt nice..like when couples call each other “waakk…” or “yang” in a very MANJA way….aduiii..mmg x thn…n xleh nk compare to “dearr….” or “honey” or even “darling” in English…(hehe..so sasape yg pro b.melayu tuh jgn mara aku yerk…aku da highlight kebest-an dua2 language tauuu)

So…biler da jdik cam tadik (kite berbalik smule pade crite prestn far..hehe)…everytg in this life requires practice,perserverance n patience…n most importantly..d courage or braveness to explore n conquer ur fears…I learnt 2 do dat in my final sem…wished I had d courage 2 do it earlier…tp nk wat cmner kan..at least I got d chance 2 learn it now..rather than later,rite??nk tau pe aku wat??i bought 5 kain elas (yg jual2 kat gerai2 kat foyer menara itm tuh..coz I nvr had d experience 2 really buy kain 2 make baju kurungs…tp bile dh happens dat leh cam borak2 n kamcing2 ngn akak yg jual kain tuh…so end up me buyin 5 kains….(sesuai ke??haha ntah)..so then cam piker la mane nak anta kain2 ni..nk kne carik tailor la plak…nk anta kat my mom’s tailor cam jauh sgt la plak..kat sremban nun…n plus cam xmo kot anta kat ctuh..kang my mom bising lak bile tgk I beli BYK GILE kain…yg ader kat umah tuh pon melambak x anta lgik!! (haa this is also 1 of d reason y I decide 2 send 2 tailor lain—sbb mak aku suke sgt kumpul kain main yg sgt rajin dibeli oleh bapakku…n end up nti anta byk2 kat akak kat semban tuh.,..n then nti my dad gak yg bising psl skali gi semban kne bayo duit like 200 for 5,6 bajus skaligus..hahaha…tu la habit mak aku..n tambah lak aku mmg dh takda bju kurung baru…n klu nk diikutkan…even if my mom nk anta kain2 yg cantik2 sket n mahal sket kat akak tu….bukannye aku leh nk pkai pon..sbb nti eventually pun my mom je yg ade kuase veto nk pkai those bajus…n me nti sure my mom cam x trust n akan constantly remind me 2 take gud care of d baju..jgn ganas2…n nti end up she will want me 2 send d baju home—for her 2 basuh it..takut if aku basuh nti rosak bju tu….huaaaa m still n akwiz gonna b momma’s LITTLE doter laaaaaaa….so then barula tpiker where do my k.long anta her bajus kan…hehe biler da dpt tau her tailor lives nearby her house..ekeke..korg pon dh leh guess kan my next actions ape…huhu..i sent 5 baju-s skaligus…at d cost of rm150…cmpur prices of d kains..adela aku spent around rm300…wuihsyy…byk gak ek…giler aku kan…so this week n nxt week will b my new-baju-kurung week…ekeke…ader 1 baju..red in colour…sgt cntikk….my faveret lah..psl kain dier pon cm lain…very2 nice I tell u..hihi…

So..as a result of bju baru-s+developed d-found-ability of speaking+d courage 2 go for private tutor classes wif my pak ude+realizing d fact dat HAVIN a BF is not a really BIG matter after all…I think now I realize dat I’m only fit 2 hav a bf when I’m fully comfortable n confident wif d REAL me…n most importantly…when I can FULLY ACCEPT myself..d way I burp after kenyang mkn…I burp bile kpale ngn perut pnuh angin…my clumsy-ness when handling everytg…my panic attacks when it comes 2 days when aku sgt2 srabut n slebet…my suke-buat-muke-ness bile I hav 2 work wif ppl dat I don’t like or don’t prefer…n also my SGT-X-TAU n BLURRNESS attitude when it comes to directions n places…wahaha…n currently pun still learning bout d realself of me..(from lots of sources—hangin out wif daya(this gurl is not-so-quiet after all..n sgt2 indpndt I tell u!)…wif aida n nadi(haha..thanx a bunch 4 d tips on handbags, u guys rock!!)…also wif k.iya n k.nad(they’re like so grrreatt 2 hang out wif..tp sangap ar nk tman deme2 neh shopingg!!)..hoho...so still n will continue learning d sweetness of life n d greatness of God 4 gvg me d opportunity 2 learn d lessons in my life THIS way.. =)

tolak 3 markah...

pade hari ini...aku dgn banggenye mengannounce kan bahawe aku x pegi klas FAR (KLAS YG AKU X PENAH PON PONTENG ye...mind dat fact!!!!)...n reasonnye pon kukoh--sbb nk siapkan grup asgmt presentation for petang nih.....(though i kno dat its my fault 4 not bein able 2 finish wut i shud last nite..tp...3 markah beb...aduii..)...so d lecturer sgt narah kot coz rmai la gak yg x dtg pg td...(n i think 4 d same reason as me la kot)....so she decide 2 tolak 3 markah frm our total carry marks for the final...sgt sedeyla......aku x nah ponteng pon..n salu dlm klas pon aku yg thegeh2 nk jwp soalan2 dier yg x penahnye bejawap tuh...tnsn aku...xperlah...dh naseb aku....nk wat cmner...

patutnye aku sgt suke hati sbb arinih pkai bju baru...tp jdik sgt moody cozof dat fact....HUARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!